Things That Make You Go Hmmm

  • Joe Swash reading the bedtime story on Nick Jr
  • Marmite flavoured cheese
  • Rastamouse
  • Make up for 3 year olds
  • The Daily Mail
  • Really sticky bogies
  • Train information boards that profess a train is ‘On Time’ when it’s a minute after it should have left and it hasn’t turned up yet
  • Well done steak
  • When your iPhone can’t get 3G reception even though you know you’re in a good reception spot
  • Lloyd Grossman’s accent
  • Crystal Palace shirts
  • Bike Lanes that last 5 yards
  • Writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg
  • Discount ready meals
  • People who name energy drinks after their cocks
  • People who name their cocks after energy drinks
  • Lembit Opik
  • Running out of cider
  • Why children’s clothes have size aged 5-6 and size aged 7-8 but not size aged 6-7
  • Lego on the floor of a dark room
  • Dan Brown novels
  • ANYONE who lets some bacon go off
  • Octogenarians with pet names for each other
  • Next door’s cat when he shits in my chives
  • That Vanish geisha advert
  • Clive Tyldesley
  • Furry oranges
  • Smiley faces used as dots over a lower case letter i
  • Sweetcorn
  • “My parents went to” T-Shirts. Except ones that say “My Dad went to Brighton and all he got me was this vintage piece of kitsch which he bought ironically. And some organic rice flour”.
  • Toddler’s sleep patterns
  • First Great Western
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