I took a tweet break. Not a break at work where I tweet instead of smoking. Not the full 14 day social media starvation diet recently attempted by @musodad and @himupnorth either.
It’s just that I had 4 days off and I wanted to spend them with the children and not be distracted by thinking about tweeting and this here blog.
I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it except for the fact that my first day in self imposed twitter jail was a Friday and that’s a pretty bad day to choose. It’s when follower shout outs get sent using the follow Friday #ff hashtag. If I’m ever lucky enough to get one I like to acknowledge it as soon as I can and I also like to attempt a few of my own. In this way I often end up in conversations which can last quite a while and this is great but not on Good Friday when the weather’s lovely and you have 2 little ones to play with.
The thing I did notice though was that weirdly, at times, I thought in tweets anyway. And so here are some I might have posted had I not been otherwise engaged.
Friday 10.00: I am cheating in a water fight with a 5-year-old. #winning
As I didn’t have the laptop open and as it was nice we opened up the garden, filled up the water pistols and went out for a water fight. I may have shot Boy while he was unarmed. He may have shot me point blank in the face because I didn’t move when I could have. Meanwhile Baby charged round with a grip on her gun that was tighter than Geoff Boycott at a race night. We had fun. More fun than I’ve had in a very long time in fact.
Friday 15.30: Oh do come along you Brighton chaps #bhafc
Friday 16.30: Shut it Cottee you dwarf #bhafc
Friday 16.55: ****
My beloved football team did not cover themselves in glory on Friday. Worse I was watching the show that you watch to watch other people watching people watching football. The person doing the Brighton game was Tony Cottee. Tony Cottee does not like Brighton. We lost so I would definitely sworn at the end. Just not sure which swear I’d have used.
I did however cover myself in glory. We went to our good friend’s house for a short but lovely afternoon and I didn’t ruin it by constantly pulling out my iPhone. Except once. Just, y’know, to check the score.
Saturday 11.00: I am reading Mr Gum to Boy, I’m not sure which of us is laughing more.
So on Saturday the wife went shopping. All day. With money. She broke this up by coming home for lunch and giving Boy a new book, You’re A Bad Man Mr Gum by Andy Stanton. It has taken over as our favourite children’s book ever (or at least this week) and I am recommending it purely because I found it hard to read out loud what with all the laughing.
Sunday 17:00 knackered
That would’ve been all I could manage. We spent a great day swimming with the kids then doing an Easter Egg hunt for them at a friends where we also had lunch. I was out on my feet by early evening and we were the guests not the hosts.
But what about Monday I hear you ask? That’s a bank holiday and you’ve tweeted and now you’re writing THIS aren’t you? Don’t worry. The kids got up and changed out of their PJs and then I locked them in a dungeon with nothing to eat but Smash while I opened a bottle of Krug and tweeted the fuck out of Gary Barlow. Er, I mean we were on Skype to my Dad and I had a sneaky look and saw I had #ff that needed replying to and then I saw @babberblog had become a Dad and I couldn’t ignore that. But after 3 days of doing stuff as a family it was pissing with rain so Wife crafted with Boy while I took Baby out to buy some spices and meet some mad racist bitch on the bus. But that as they say is another story.
Hello. My name is slightlysuburbandad and I am a tweet and blog addict.