Shouty Daddy

So I did the 10 things meme and one thing I tell myself regularly is not to shout at the kids. It can be hard work. There’s finding a balance needed. Shouting is acceptable if you ask me but only in emergencies.

It is not, admittedly, for when they are taking an extra blueberry or spending too long in front of Peppa Pig or inadvertently getting in the way. It IS for when they are about to walk under a car or pick up a knife or strangle each other. Shouting at the trivial gets you nowhere. Conversely saying very meekly “Boy, would you mind awfully not strangling your sister / walking under that 4 x 4 / stabbing yourself. There’s a good chap” won’t get you far either in my humble opinion. The shout should be restricted to emergencies and, too often lately I have used it in every day situations. This has not gone well. Time for a change of tactics.

Tonight I tried humour. I’m good at humour or at least the type a 5 year old can explain *points a gun at you all till you agree*. In my mind I’m 5 still. Poo, bodily functions and vegetables that look like wangers can have me giggling for days. Time to use my childish humour as a weapon.

Bath time. Boy outright refuses to go up for a bath despite the fact that, due to an Easter egg party at the local park he is face painted as Sonic the Hedgehog and has 7 different varieties of mud (at least I think it’s mud) wedged in to his earhole. Just a few days I might have yelled ‘ bath NOW!!!’. Like some caveman. Today I pretended to be a Dalek and exterminated him up the stairs (yes I used my arm on my head like a Dalek gun and did the voice). It worked.

Then at reward chart time he started messing around. I got him interested again by pretending to write his name on the top of the chart as ‘Pickle Pants’ and telling him there was a boy who lived over the road called Picklepants Johnson Mahoney. He engaged. We completed the chart in record time.  He did as he was told. He went up to bed nicely.

On his way the little fucker broke the stair gate off the wall. Hence I have come downstairs to write this.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

*rends garment*

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  1. #1 by bottleinfrontofme on April 2, 2012 - 7:48 pm

    I would be swearing blue murder 😉

  2. #2 by Off Duty Mom on April 2, 2012 - 8:03 pm

    Picklepants. Love it. That made ME laugh and I am not now, nor have I ever been, a 5-year old boy.

  3. #3 by stephicakes on April 2, 2012 - 8:39 pm

    Good for you! I am not great at thinking on my feet of the silly stuff. I need to keep practicing.

  4. #4 by memyselfandkids on April 2, 2012 - 9:19 pm

    Funny. I find it easier to use humor when I have more energy. I know it probably is more effective, but I’m not always up to the challenge.

  5. #5 by jbmumofone on April 3, 2012 - 8:19 am

    I think Picklepants is an awesome name!

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