So today was a football day. I think I’ve previously mentioned this is mine and Best Friend of All’s time away from family though we have recently talked about taking Boy and his 3 Boys. In the end we decided to leave it another season. This morning when Boy picked up his Brighton flag and asked if he could come (he can’t, it’s all ticket and he doesn’t have one) I briefly regretted this. By the end of the train ride home however I knew we were right to leave ourselves sans children at the Amex again next season.
After the game the train back to Brighton pulls in and everyone piles in to a carriage. Just as the doors close cue a HUGE tantrummy shriek from a kid ‘somewhere’ on it. Like the wail of a banshee. Like a wolf’s howl recorded at 33rpm and played at 78. And it goes on and on and on until:
(all below speech is very loud and directed to the whole carriage)
Brighton Fan 1: Will someone PLEASE shut that kid THE FUCK UP.
Brighton Fan 2: Give him a dummy. Or some Skittles
Brighton Fan 3: I think Skittles are the problem. I think he’s had about 10 packets.
Middlesboro Fan: I thought it was nice down here. Is that’s what it’s like to live here really?
Brighton Fan 1: He could be one of yours.
Middlesboro Fan: I hope not. He’d be on our train back to Boro. 7 hours of that? FUCK NO. He’s yours.
Brighton Fan 4: He could be reliving the moment you hit the post at one up.
And so on and so on.
I could see some of the speakers but not the child. I had no idea who the parent was or what was going on with the parent. There was certainly no riposte. It was quite intimidating.
Terrible isn’t it? Or just brutally honest.
Imagine the same scream in a packed Giraffe restaurant. Or an NCT play group. Dozens of middle-class parent eyes on you. None of them saying a word. Just thinking. Leaving the parent to their paranoia. Their maybes.
What would you prefer?