So this from parentdish dropped in to my Twitter time line via DaddyNatal today. You will have to take as read that I understand that …
– Many of my readers are mums and
– It’s international women’s day
…when I say that I have never read such an irritating piece of claptrap in all my days.
Apparently all dads are useless in the delivery room. Apparently we shouldn’t be allowed near it because we all walk in to televisions and knock ourselves out or fill birth pools with freezing cold water. All of us. Without exception.
Well I didn’t. I was present throughout most of Boy’s birth and at no point did I scoff a burger, glare at the doctor or fall asleep. I have already posted Baby’s birth story. My wife ordered me out. I went out. My wife ordered me back in. I went back in again. Simpls. We’re not all Fred Fuckin’ Flintstone.
But there is a far more disturbing element to the post. You see what women really need is a doula (it says there). You know those fantastically EXPENSIVE PRIVATE BIRTH PARTNERS you can hire from £350 to £1000 (according to http://www.nurturingbirth.co.uk/doula_costs.html )
Yes you read that right. £350 to £1000. On top of all the extra shit you had to buy, getting the nursery ready, car seat, travel system, baby clothes that last 3 months, monitor etc etc, you, yes you scared first time middle class parent can part with a sizeable chunk of cash to not have your husband / partner there. You remember him don’t you? The guy who’s going to have half DNA shares in the baby? Who you’ll shortly want to take time off work and help with nappies and feed expressed breast milk. You’ll want him to do all that but you also want him replaced with a stranger and a sizeable overdraft during the actual birth? Really?
You’ll note the use of middle-class there. I’ll tell you who a doula isn’t an option for and that’s a poor 18-year-old soon to be single mum from a sink estate. The guy who impregnated her isn’t going to be doing any burger eating or falling asleep (at least not in the delivery room). He’s not going to be involved in the baby’s life at all. And the girl he’s left impregnated is now alone and shit, shit scared.
So here’s an idea. If you really care about empowering women instead of laughing at loving husbands (and writing thinly veiled doula sales articles on websites) who are actually being rubbish because they’re TERRIFIED why not volunteer at your local maternity unit FOR FREE and help out girls who are a bit less fortunate than yourself in the husband department.