The Inaugural Soiled Nappy Award

I have noticed that other bloggers occasionally give out badges and awards. I’m still learning WordPress so this is not an actual badge but I have decided to create an award. Specifically, the Soiled Nappy award for the most thoughtless, idiotic, incompetent or just plain weird examples of child and parent un-friendliness. Today someone earned the inaugural one. And it goes to *fanfare*…

McDonalds in Churchill Square Brighton

The Soiled Nappy Award

If I was going to run a refreshment area / cafe / restaurant mainly for families here’s what I would NOT do.

  1.  Locate it right at the top of a shopping centre so that people with prams and buggies can only reach it by lift. Then provide one lift holding 2 buggies
  2. Have about 3 fucking tables actually inside the joint leaving the rest of the inside to be taken up with the queues caused by dubious food preparation methods and staff with a fairly weak grasp of English
  3. Have half the tables outside have bench seats 3 feet high that any child under 7 could easily topple over backwards off, hitting their head on a hard floor after a 3 foot fall like one did today.
  4. Hide the high chairs
  5. Have the high chair hidey hole in a place that people have to block with their buggies because there is nowhere else to put said buggies.
  6. Locate the toilets not in store, but a half mile route march away. Always works well with a desperate / potty training child that.
  7. Send cleaning teams in to the buggy park / high chair hidey-hole area just as everyone with buggies and high chairs is trying to leave.

Look, I know McDonalds are an easy target, that maybe they’re supposed to be like that. No matter. It is without doubt the worst designed place that is trying to attract children I have ever known. They have actually done me a favour. We rarely say ‘no’ to Boy and Baby. Anything that is safe for them in reasonable quantities is allowed but only in reasonable quantities. We’ve never hid them from fast food, just ensured it is strictly rationed.

Today I took baby to Gymboree which is also in the shopping centre while Boy was supposed to go with his Mum to the Sealife Centre. The Sealife Centre was closed so she came and met me and by way of a make up we allowed him to choose lunch. He chose McDonalds. He won’t be allowed to again, that is my very last time in that place ever.

Here you go Churchill Square and McDonalds. Have a Soiled Nappy award. Now wash your hands.




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