A mildly amusing (some may say gentle comedy) rant about old people and babies as part of the Sunfun linky ting going on at actuallymummy.
I realise that this is not exactly an original subject. In fact I’m getting flashbacks to Mother Venting’s marvellous Ears post just typing this. That’s because very often babies seem to be an ok signal for strangers to come up to you and talk to you about them. Some of these people are nice. Some are bonkers. As they’re mostly elderly most are nice AND bonkers.
Anyway today I got on the bus back from town with baby in her Snow Suit. Admittedly the main colour of her Snow Suit is blue but it’s a very light blue, almost aquamarine. And here’s the thing. It’s covered in fucking huge pink flowers. The women next to me starts asking questions about baby to which I reply in the gender specific because I’m, y’know, normal. Bonkers Woman isn’t .
BW: Is it your first?
Me: No she is my second. Her brother is at home.
(At this point my answers are irrelevant. She’s spotted the blue bit of the suit, ignored the flowers and decided Baby is a boy).
BW: He’s very big isn’t he?
Me: Yes, she’s tall. (97th percentile on the Health Visitor ‘make parents feel like shit’ scale).
BW: He is a boy isn’t he? Boys are such hard work. *descends in to unintelligible babble*
And so on.
Baby is most obviously a girl. Her hair may have not grown long but it was covered by the hood which is covered in fucking huge pink flowers. She has long fluttery eyelids. One of her first words was ‘shoes’. She can spot bling at forty paces. She’s a girl and God help me she looks like a girl. Just because we don’t deck her out in uniform pink every day of the week with a Little Princess sticker on the back of the buggy and ribbons in her non-existent hair and….. *beats head on wall*.
Bonkers Old People of the world. I think I am a nice person and I will happily answer any question you have regarding my children. Just listen to the answer would you? Ta.